Gaia Strikes Back at Birdblog

As you all know, my blogging has been light due to a number of factors including babysitting a little kitten. My parents have returned to town and the kitten has gone home, so I thought I`d FINALLY get in some good blogging. Unfortunately, Global Warming has conspired against me!

I hadn`t been to my property in the Ozarks lately, and I needed to get down there to make sure my cabin was still standing. For those of you who don`t know, my ``cabin`` is a tiny one room tarpaper shack with tarp roofs, no running water, no electricity, etc. It sits on an old logging trail back in a young oak forest in South-Central Missouri. Facilities are, shall we say, rustic, including a toilet made from a toilet seat set on cinder blocks between two trees. I often go there to get away from the world (I can`t even pick up cell phone signals, and the few radio stations which come in play country, bluegrass, or gospel music.) I have to check on the place at least once a month to make sure it hasn`t collapsed, and to do any repairs to keep it standing.

Anyway, when I got there I found several pieces of tarpaper had fallen off the walls. I had to nail them back up, and in the process smacked my little finger with the hammer, making it turn black and swell.

After finishing my carpentry I decided to rake out some leaves from an area I have been planning to turn into a parking area. As I was raking, I found a piece of chicken-wire I had left there buried in some leaves. I reached down to pick the wire up when suddenly a cloud of yellow-jackets or hornets exploded from the ground! I took at least 15 stings, and they chased me completely off my land (Over 200 yards)!

My legs, arms, hand, ankles, and back had been badly stung, and the corresponding areas were red and inflamed. I went to bed in my cabin early that night, and came home Sunday only to find the stings were making me sick. It may be a few days before my blogging returns to normal.

I now understand; Mother Earth has vented her wrath upon me for my assaults on her Global Warming defenders! Gaia has smitten me for my impudence via Birdblog, and those hornets were the angels of Her punishment! It`s clear that they would never have attacked me, except Global Warming is changing weather patterns, and stirring up forces of nature against those of us who despoil the pristine character of the Earth. I now understand that I have reaped that which I have sewn, and my punishment from Mother Earth was fair and just. I must repent of my evil polluting ways, and work to return the Earth to the pure and unspoiled paradise which it had been until America came with her greedy corporations and evil desire to rape the land.

Fat chance!