Birdblog

A conservative news and views blog.

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Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States

Monday, August 15, 2005

Gaia Strikes Back at Birdblog

As you all know, my blogging has been light due to a number of factors including babysitting a little kitten. My parents have returned to town and the kitten has gone home, so I thought I`d FINALLY get in some good blogging. Unfortunately, Global Warming has conspired against me!

I hadn`t been to my property in the Ozarks lately, and I needed to get down there to make sure my cabin was still standing. For those of you who don`t know, my ``cabin`` is a tiny one room tarpaper shack with tarp roofs, no running water, no electricity, etc. It sits on an old logging trail back in a young oak forest in South-Central Missouri. Facilities are, shall we say, rustic, including a toilet made from a toilet seat set on cinder blocks between two trees. I often go there to get away from the world (I can`t even pick up cell phone signals, and the few radio stations which come in play country, bluegrass, or gospel music.) I have to check on the place at least once a month to make sure it hasn`t collapsed, and to do any repairs to keep it standing.

Anyway, when I got there I found several pieces of tarpaper had fallen off the walls. I had to nail them back up, and in the process smacked my little finger with the hammer, making it turn black and swell.

After finishing my carpentry I decided to rake out some leaves from an area I have been planning to turn into a parking area. As I was raking, I found a piece of chicken-wire I had left there buried in some leaves. I reached down to pick the wire up when suddenly a cloud of yellow-jackets or hornets exploded from the ground! I took at least 15 stings, and they chased me completely off my land (Over 200 yards)!

My legs, arms, hand, ankles, and back had been badly stung, and the corresponding areas were red and inflamed. I went to bed in my cabin early that night, and came home Sunday only to find the stings were making me sick. It may be a few days before my blogging returns to normal.

I now understand; Mother Earth has vented her wrath upon me for my assaults on her Global Warming defenders! Gaia has smitten me for my impudence via Birdblog, and those hornets were the angels of Her punishment! It`s clear that they would never have attacked me, except Global Warming is changing weather patterns, and stirring up forces of nature against those of us who despoil the pristine character of the Earth. I now understand that I have reaped that which I have sewn, and my punishment from Mother Earth was fair and just. I must repent of my evil polluting ways, and work to return the Earth to the pure and unspoiled paradise which it had been until America came with her greedy corporations and evil desire to rape the land.

Fat chance!

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7 Comments:

Blogger Aussiegirl said...

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!" ~~ Imperial Margarine commercial.

Seriously, Tim -- all best wishes for a speedy recovery! That sounds really nasty and scary. And here you were probably worried about ghostly apparitions after sharing ghost stories on BonnieBlueFlag's blog.

Hope you are feeling good real soon -- take care of yourself!

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your "cabin" reminds me of a fishing shack on the Desarc bayou in Arkansas when I was a kid. Great fishing and this was back in the late fifties and early sixties... A few yellow jackets and this was before global warming.

Toilet seat on cinderblocks huh? No pit? hope you aren't "upstream" as it were. LOL

Funny story

8:53 PM  
Blogger Alnot said...

Get well soon Tim been ther but was lucky and quick. Had I been timed I am sure the world record for the hundred and the fifty yard dash would have been shattered.

BTW Has any one noticed how many blogger comments have been lost lately?

9:59 PM  
Blogger TJW said...

A nest of angry Hornets does add a whole different dimension to the term weekend getaway...

Ow! ...slap!......Stop that...... Ouch!.......getaway.....
...Slap!........OW!.......
...getaway...damnit...Ow!

Hope You feel better soon Tim!

Question:
Are you going to be in danger of having a flashback next time you go to the symphony if they play “Flight of the bumble bee”?

1:23 AM  
Blogger Timothy Birdnow said...

Thanks guys!

I`ve been feeling rather poorly, so I called the doctor who gave me some steroids. I expect to be back in the pink (I hate to use that color!) soon.

Bonnie, you are probably right; I should have gone to the emergency room. Unfortunately, the nearest Hospital is 35-40 miles, so I didn`t have a lot of options and I felt well enough so I took my chances. (I`d have gone to my neighbor if I had felt an attack coming; he probably could have gotten me help much more quickly than I could have gotten myself.)

At any rate, I`m doing o.k. but blogging may be a bit slow AGAIN this week. Oh boy!

As you all know, I work for a property management company here in St. Louis. My boss often picks up management on less than first rate properties. I decided to play a joke on everybody; I took pictures of the old shack and slipped them in with some new properties we had just picked up. One of my co-workers found the pics and stared in horror at this place with tarpaper walls and tarps covering the roof-he really fell for it!

Anyway, thanks to all for your concern!

4:04 PM  
Blogger Alnot said...

"One of my co-workers found the pics and stared in horror at this place with tarpaper walls and tarps covering the roof-he really fell for it!"
LOL glad to see your humor is still intact.

"Anyway, thanks to all for your concern!"
Concern for a friend is an easy thing to do "loving mine enemies" is much more difficult not a suggestion but a command I must do.

7:27 PM  
Blogger Always On Watch said...

But the main thing is that the kitten is all right. [Just kidding!]

Get well soon. Yellow-jacket stings are serious business. Being hornet, yellow jackets are fierce pursuers, as I learned to my chagrin as a child when I disturbed a nest of them.

PS: Your cabin sounds like a great escape--except for the natural enemies, that is.

8:38 AM  

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