Why Didn`t They Call On Jack?
Jack ``the Dripper`` Kervorkian was recently denied parole despite deteriorating health. The guy nobody wants to see when they are deathly ill has been incarcerated for quite some time, and he has been suffering a serious decline behind bars. Despite this, the parole board told him to pipe down and give himself an intravenous.
A thought occured to me (I have them occasionally); why did they pay someone to execute Tookie Williams when Jack ``the Dripper`` would probably have volunteered to do the job for free? Why waste taxpayer money? Undoubtedly, getting back to his chosen career would put new life in the old boy (while being decidedly unhealthy for his patient) since he would no longer be a useless ward of the State, but would perform a valuable service. He could be back in the saddle sticking arms and taking names, and we would save a bundle on black-hooded professionals. It`s a win-win situation!
Shoot, Dr. Kervorian would probably be so happy in his work that he wouldn`t waste the parole board`s time. Too bad the government doesn`t think of these things!
(A tip of the Christmas Antlers to Jay Homnick at The Reform Club.
A thought occured to me (I have them occasionally); why did they pay someone to execute Tookie Williams when Jack ``the Dripper`` would probably have volunteered to do the job for free? Why waste taxpayer money? Undoubtedly, getting back to his chosen career would put new life in the old boy (while being decidedly unhealthy for his patient) since he would no longer be a useless ward of the State, but would perform a valuable service. He could be back in the saddle sticking arms and taking names, and we would save a bundle on black-hooded professionals. It`s a win-win situation!
Shoot, Dr. Kervorian would probably be so happy in his work that he wouldn`t waste the parole board`s time. Too bad the government doesn`t think of these things!
(A tip of the Christmas Antlers to Jay Homnick at The Reform Club.
posted by Timothy Birdnow | 3:46 PM
1 Comments:
Tim,
This is one idea that is so good that it will never see the light of day in the hallowed halls of our government. It has that certain symmetry, that perfect balance that will forever elude the bureaucrats who control the criminal justice system in this country. The paralyzing fear they exist under that tells them by doing something this right must mean they are doing something terribly wrong will never allow them to connect these dots.
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