False Democratic Rumors
Our friend Tom Joseph sends the latest on Cheney`s hunting accident:
False Democratic Rumors
Unfortunately, some unscrupulous Democratic leaders have tried to take advantage of Vice President Cheney's sad and tragic accidental shooting of a member of his hunting party. Since this amounts to more than half of the Democratic leadership, it seems reasonable to dispel most of their vicious rumors.
1.) After the accident, the Vice President did not say, "That's enough practice" and then promptly invite Senators Harry Reid, John Kerry, Edward Kennedy and Representative Nancy Pelosi to his next Texas' shooting. There is, however, still hope.
2.) When a member of the Secret Service pointed out that he had just shot an attorney, Cheney did not respond with, "One down, one million to go."
3.) Contrary to a New York Thyme's report, Dan Rather did not sell his Texas ranch because he feared for his life. The copy of a deed that was emailed to the NYT has been proven to be a forgery by a 2nd grade child who identified the printing as Classical Sanskrit from approximately 500 BC ( 500 years before Christ).
4.) The Secret Service denied issuing a hunting advisory warning to Representatives Foxx, Gibbons and Otter; saying that such warnings were the responsibility of the FBI.
5.) Cheney has never invited former Vice President Quayle or Senator Byrd to a hunt. Everyone knows Quayle isn't a sporting man. And not even the Vice President can get Byrd to stop rambling on long enough to listen to an invitation.
6.) The joke about Cheney's doctors screwing up during surgery and installing a peacemaker instead of a pace maker did not necessarily come from Texas. Peacemakers were handguns used to kill varmints all over the West.
7.) When asked whether the Secret Service was concerned about someone shooting the Vice President under similar circumstances, the White House did not say it couldn't be a problem because other hunters were only allowed to point their fingers and shout bang.
8.) Since most Democrats know very little about guns, relax, the ammunition was birdshot, not Byrd shot. And no, you can't label shot guns as assault weapons unless you want to be assaulted big time at the polls.
9.) Vice President Cheney was not testing a new Republican method for campaign contributions. This is an old Democratic method that has been used in many major cities.
False Democratic Rumors
Unfortunately, some unscrupulous Democratic leaders have tried to take advantage of Vice President Cheney's sad and tragic accidental shooting of a member of his hunting party. Since this amounts to more than half of the Democratic leadership, it seems reasonable to dispel most of their vicious rumors.
1.) After the accident, the Vice President did not say, "That's enough practice" and then promptly invite Senators Harry Reid, John Kerry, Edward Kennedy and Representative Nancy Pelosi to his next Texas' shooting. There is, however, still hope.
2.) When a member of the Secret Service pointed out that he had just shot an attorney, Cheney did not respond with, "One down, one million to go."
3.) Contrary to a New York Thyme's report, Dan Rather did not sell his Texas ranch because he feared for his life. The copy of a deed that was emailed to the NYT has been proven to be a forgery by a 2nd grade child who identified the printing as Classical Sanskrit from approximately 500 BC ( 500 years before Christ).
4.) The Secret Service denied issuing a hunting advisory warning to Representatives Foxx, Gibbons and Otter; saying that such warnings were the responsibility of the FBI.
5.) Cheney has never invited former Vice President Quayle or Senator Byrd to a hunt. Everyone knows Quayle isn't a sporting man. And not even the Vice President can get Byrd to stop rambling on long enough to listen to an invitation.
6.) The joke about Cheney's doctors screwing up during surgery and installing a peacemaker instead of a pace maker did not necessarily come from Texas. Peacemakers were handguns used to kill varmints all over the West.
7.) When asked whether the Secret Service was concerned about someone shooting the Vice President under similar circumstances, the White House did not say it couldn't be a problem because other hunters were only allowed to point their fingers and shout bang.
8.) Since most Democrats know very little about guns, relax, the ammunition was birdshot, not Byrd shot. And no, you can't label shot guns as assault weapons unless you want to be assaulted big time at the polls.
9.) Vice President Cheney was not testing a new Republican method for campaign contributions. This is an old Democratic method that has been used in many major cities.
posted by Timothy Birdnow | 5:57 AM
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