Birdblog

A conservative news and views blog.

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Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Caesar`s Bath And Laundry

``Behold, the Caesar's Bath meme! List five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can't really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), "Nice. Nice. Not thrilling . . . but nice."

It looks like I`ve gotten doused with Caesar`s Bathwater (courtesy of John Tabin) and am now on the hook to produce five ho-hum- I really don`t care that much- things to keep from dying at The Palace (``when you die at Caesar`s Palace you really die at Caesar`s Palace``) This must be the process Jerry Seinfeld uses to work his material up (what is it with...fill in the blank!) I might add, I could use Seinfeld as one of my five, but he`s past his peak, so...


1. Starbucks:
What is it about Starbucks? The coffee is good, but I don`t think it exceptional. I`ve certainly
had better, and most high-end coffee houses are at least as good. My wife bought me a membership in a coffee club which put Starbucks to shame! I think It is the product of Liberal hype; all of those trendy lefties in Seattle sipping their Venti Mocha Lattes while plotting their next attack on international trade conferences. For the rest of us-Yawn!

2. Survivor:
I will never understand the popularity of Survivor. You take a bunch of people, deny them basic hygene products, then shoot a television series about these dirty, sweaty people playing silly games which have nothing to do with anything. It doesn`t even have the decency to be about who survives better because you get VOTED off the show by your peers! It should be called ``sweaty, non-hygenic office politics``. That`s what it reminds me of, anyway! (I wish we could put Caesar`s tub on the island!) I`ve got nothing against the show, but I can`t see why it`s so popular (people were bidding on Ebay for the parasites dug out of that girls leg on the first show!) As I see it, Survivor is American silliness. If you really want a ``survivor`` show, the producers ought to strand them on the island (no teams) and throw a couple of cans of food out and see who ends up with the food! That would be Survivor! (As things stand, I really wish the producers would at least throw these people a couple of bars of soap, and maybe some toothpaste!)

3. Televised Poker Tournaments:
If I wanted to watch a bunch of bored, emotionless people staring at each-other, I`d turn on CNN.

4. Country Music:
Go buy a new dog, and get a girlfriend already! Stop whining!

5. The Olympics:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! (I have to confess; my lifelong dream has been to extinguish that stupid torch en-route to the Games! Whenever it comes through Missouri I plot my attack! I know it`ll never happen but, hey, a fella can dream, can`t he?)

It`s hard to come up with five things that you don`t truly despise, just aren`t thrilled with (the Olympics was a bit of a fudge for me.) I thought about things like Light Beer (the root of all evil) or the game Washers (why must we drag that snoozer out at every barbeque and picnic?) but decided they didn`t quite make the it.

Anyway, It`s time for me to pass on the torch! I`m supposed to send this to three other honest bloggers who also don`t have time for such nonsense. I`m thinking Aussiegirl, Todd Lindsay , and Thomas Willms. (If anybody else wants me to send it to you, let me know. I see no reason why I can`t send it to more than three.)

I thought I`d end this on a philosophical note, with a deep thought from the movie:

Caesar`s aid: ``Remember thou art mortal!``
Caesar`s general: ``Oh blow it out your...!``

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2 Comments:

Blogger StaticNoise said...

I can think of one or two right off the top of my head... American Idol. Reality TV in general (with the exception of American Chopper, of course)

10:30 AM  
Blogger Aussiegirl said...

I may be unable to comply if I have to limit myself to five -- I have tens -- nay -- probably hundreds of things that I can name -- beginning with the annoying sudden prevalence of the word "meme" -- Arrrrhhhggggg!!

6:45 PM  

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