Ask Not for Whom the Twinkie Tolls
Timothy Birdnow
What food will survive a nuclear war? What will you be eating thirty years after the end of it all - and enjoying just as much? What is the ultimate enemy of Michelle Obama, the ambrosia of the post-modern gods?
You guessed it - the Twinkie!
Sadly, the perfect food may be no more.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204257504577154402317896574.html
"High fixed costs" are blamed, and by that they mean inflation of ingredients and high labor costs. Interstate Bakery is a union shop.
In the Wall Street Journal article "healthier eating habits" are blamed by the company for the decline of the Twinkie. Balderdash! Only people around Michelle Obama are eating healthier (while the First Lady has probably packed away a ding-dong or two in her lifetime). People can't afford junk food anymore. And that is largely the fault of the government.
The WSJ gets it right:
"is not competitive, primarily due to legacy pension and medical benefit obligations and restrictive work rules"
So, the Unions are killing the food designed to survive armageddon!
This is not something we want to lose. Hostess purchased Dolly Madison a number of years back, and so both brands will be lost if Hostess goes under. (Personally, I was mad at that merger; Dolly Madison had much better fruit pies.)
Perhaps we should take a page from the television show "Jerico". When faced with cancellation, fans of the show sent millions of nuts to ABC, demanding the return of their favorite show (which, I might add, was about a twinkie surviving a nuclear attack, along with other people in a small kANSAS TOWN. The nuts were from a line from the show where the main character repeated Gen. Anthony McAuliffe's memorable reply to the Germans at the Bulge.) Maybe we should buy twinkies and send them to the bakery? If enough come back, maybe they'll find a way to survive? Shoot, they could repackage the ones returned and make a killing.
What food will survive a nuclear war? What will you be eating thirty years after the end of it all - and enjoying just as much? What is the ultimate enemy of Michelle Obama, the ambrosia of the post-modern gods?
You guessed it - the Twinkie!
Sadly, the perfect food may be no more.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204257504577154402317896574.html
"High fixed costs" are blamed, and by that they mean inflation of ingredients and high labor costs. Interstate Bakery is a union shop.
In the Wall Street Journal article "healthier eating habits" are blamed by the company for the decline of the Twinkie. Balderdash! Only people around Michelle Obama are eating healthier (while the First Lady has probably packed away a ding-dong or two in her lifetime). People can't afford junk food anymore. And that is largely the fault of the government.
The WSJ gets it right:
"is not competitive, primarily due to legacy pension and medical benefit obligations and restrictive work rules"
So, the Unions are killing the food designed to survive armageddon!
This is not something we want to lose. Hostess purchased Dolly Madison a number of years back, and so both brands will be lost if Hostess goes under. (Personally, I was mad at that merger; Dolly Madison had much better fruit pies.)
Perhaps we should take a page from the television show "Jerico". When faced with cancellation, fans of the show sent millions of nuts to ABC, demanding the return of their favorite show (which, I might add, was about a twinkie surviving a nuclear attack, along with other people in a small kANSAS TOWN. The nuts were from a line from the show where the main character repeated Gen. Anthony McAuliffe's memorable reply to the Germans at the Bulge.) Maybe we should buy twinkies and send them to the bakery? If enough come back, maybe they'll find a way to survive? Shoot, they could repackage the ones returned and make a killing.
posted by Timothy Birdnow | 6:06 AM
1 Comments:
The Twinkie is not dead! The Golden Sponge Cake with Delicious Creamed Filling will surely be reanimated, with the Hostess bankruptcy team working up a stalking-horse bid with two holding companies for $400+ million(!).
At any rate my weblog http://bcbakes.blogspot.com/ carries Essays on the Natural Philosophy of Postmodern Twinkies, including my increasingly successful reformulations of a NOT-winkie that is actually food, not 70% additives as in the originals.
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