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Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Elizabeth Warren's WackyWeed Peace Pipe

Timothy Birdnow

Massachussetts Democrat for Senate Elizabeth Warren has made a complete fool of herself - and of the taxpayers of these United States - with her claims to Native American status. 

Apparently, being a faux Indian has it's advantages. Warren was able to use affirmative action to get onto the Harvard faculty, and obtained other goodies based on her "minority" status.

This prompted the Cherokee Nation to demand proof of her claim to be one of them, and a geneologist claims she has 1/32 Cherokee blood! And her grandfather had high cheekbones; we all know what THAT means!  Every Injun has high cheekbones, just as every injun says "how", wears buffalo hides, and lives in tipis.  How can we doubt her veracity?

(For those who do not know, Cherokee didn't live in Tipis, but built wattle-and-daub houses similar to what Europeans built at the time of first contact. Later they adopted the European log cabin. Tipis are portable shelters used by natives of the Great Plains. Other Eastern Woodland Indians built wooden houses sided with tree bark.)

No doubt Elizabeth Warren has a pair of spiffy leather moccasins she purchased at JC Penny, and maybe even a ceremonial headdress. Perhaps she does sweats in her local sauna, although no doubt she scrupulously avoids smoking the tobacco that traditionally went along with the ritual. (Maybe she could substitute some cannabis in place of the evil native weed?)

Barack Obama, our first black President, is fully a quarter black, having a mother of Irish decent and a father who was likely half Arabic. He looks like the real deal next to Warren, who can claim a grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's grandfather had some aboriginal blood.

Now why didn't I think of that scam? My last name is Birdnow, clearly of Native American origin, and my family had some high cheekbones. We also have a tendency toward tan skin. I own a pair of JC Penny moccasins. I even own a full Indian costume, courtesy of my time in the Boy Scouts Order of the Arrow, where I played an Indian Chief in the OA induction ritual, complete with headdress and face paint. Why, I even used to smoke a pipe on occasion, with real tobacco in it! I built a structure from tarps that resembled a tipi, and spent a number of nights alone in the wilderness in this authentic structure. I could have claimed minority status and had the world handed to me. I could at least have run for high public office as a Democrat.

The difference between myself and an Elizabeth Warren is that I knew I would be about as Native American as those Italian actors who portrayed them in the old black-and-white Westerns. It would be a terrible dishonor to their culture, and to my own culture, and to myself. Nobody who really has any respect for a People would do such a thing.

Look, the name Birdnow has an interesting heritage. There once was a Frenchman named Louis Bourguignon (he was from Burgundy) who disappeared from sight in the 1850's and popped back up in the late 1860's under the name of Birdnow. Why? He was probably trying to dodge the draft for the Civil War. If he had an Indian sounding name he had a better chance of it, anyway. There is no evidence that Louis had any Native American blood. There is no evidence that he did not, either, so it COULD be true. I could have simply decided that I wanted it to be true and went around calling myself a Creek, or Osage, or whatnot. But without proof I wasn't going to do that. AS far as I know, my ancestors came from France. Maybe one of the French fellows married a native girl, but who is to say, and what does it matter anyway?  Perhaps my line crossed with a lot of different peoples in the distant past. My mother is related to the Kennedys, for instance, but I do not let that trouble my sleep. She is what is known as a Black Irish, meaning she has dark hair and eyes, so she may have had a Spaniard or a Jew or a Moor in her ancestry. So what? It is of mild personal interest to me, but should be little more. It did not impact my life in any tangible way. If people would have genetic tests run they would find all sorts of surprising DNA in their heritage. What of it? Mankind has been mixing and remixing since prehistory. We are all one species - Homo Sapiens. There are three races in this species, but those races are not fast and firm categories. And of those races there are so many subcategories. OF COURSE they share characteristics in common; the races are mere branches on the tree of Man. We hold everything in common.

But that isn't how the Liberals see it. They see us as having chasms between us, as holding differences that are insurmountable and that in fact should not be surmounted. They seek to categorize, to buttonhole, to put people in the place that is foreordained by the natural order, as they see it. Racism and Liberalism go hand-in-hand; the Liberal is forever trying to establish our differences. Why? Like scientists cataloguing species of moths, they want to establish some intellectual order to the human animal. With such order they can then have control, can manipulate the human condition for desired outcomes. How do you point to humanity and craft policies where each person is an absolute individual, as different from each-other as a snowflake yet sharing a commonality?  It's an impossible task. Scientists have traditionally used categorization, break down the big picture into manageable portions that can be studied and manipulated. America as melting pot is not a good laboratory for social experimentation. Better to divide the people into groups, and manipulate those. Easier, too, because different, competing groups will spend their time fighting each-other rather than the experimenter.

But inevitably some are more equal than others, and a divided society is guaranteed to promote some at the expense of others. Identity politics will necessarily lead to discrimination, both against some and for others. Elizabeth Warren saw this early on, and decided to use an old family legend to benefit from it.

This world is subject to entropic decay; things fall apart. It is easier to divide than to unite. America's fundamental purpose was unity. Now, we failed miserably at that in some quarters - particularly where African Americans and Native Americans were concerned - but the ideal was to unite, to blend in the great melting pot. The melting pot was heated by economic, spiritual, and social concepts that transcended ethnic and cultural identity. People came here to be free, to own businesses, to work as they pleased, live as they pleased, worship as they pleased, and it was this common desire that actually formed the bonds of family. In Europe the State compelled people to be the same, and the result was division. In America the freedom to be different made us one. E Pluribus Unum. In America being 1/32 Cherokee really shouldn't matter. Elizabeth Warren should never have been tempted to promote her miniscule minority status.

The end of the melting pot spells trouble for America. As we become more Europeanized we grow more divided, and eventually that division will destroy us.

Elizabeth Warren should be a cautionary tale.

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