Durbin the Turban

One of the things I try to avoid here at Birdblog is regurgitating the stories and opinions which consume the current news cycle. I try to keep Birdblog fresh and relevant, and this sometimes requires me to ignore the hot topic of the day if I have nothing original to add; I`ve never wanted to be part of the echo chamber.

That`s why when Ill-Noise Senator Durbin the Turban, that stink-bomb with a milquetoast casing, the Sheik of the burning bland, made his outrageous remarks I stifled a yawn and went about my business. Democrats and Liberals are always making outrageous, near treasonous remarks these days, and I knew everyone would swarm this like flies on a dunghill. What is one more hysterical rant from the Deadocrats? Their furious windstorms are growing mighty stale, and wild accusations have become so commonplace I have really ceased to care. Still, this particularly nasty commentary by the number 2 Dem in the Senate (the NEW number 2-does anybody remember The Prisoner?) is having international repercussions, and I fear I`m going to have to weigh in on this thing.

Mr. (cough) Durbin makes commentary based on an F.B.I. memo which has not been provided to Tom Delay or any other Republicans. Isn`t that convenient! Nobody from the Republican camp can verify that there really is such a memo. Nobody can verify that the memo says what the turban says it does. How convenient! We have a phantom memo which claims we are engaged in torture at Guantanamo Bay. (Hey Dick, I know you just saw Star Wars but episode 1 was the phantom MENACE not memo!) We have no way of independently verifying this; we have to take tricky Dick`s word.

Why, pray tell, was an F.B.I.agent present during the torture of a prisoner at Gitmo? Doesn`t that strike anybody as odd? If I were engaged in torture, I certainly wouldn`t invite a civilian to watch. I would restrict it to other military personnel who would be under orders, and would be damn certain these military people were ones I could trust. I find it difficult to believe that our interrogation experts would be so careless as to allow a G-man to witness abuse of prisoners. Terrible incompetence there.

This unnamed F.B.I. man in our phantom memo goes on to claim a number of things. For instance, he claims that he saw a prisoner bound hand and foot on the floor, a big pile of hair beside him which he pulled out of his own noggin from frustration and pain. I have been in situations both terribly frustrating and painful, and I have never even considered pulling my own hair out. Yanking out hair is painful! It sounds like this prisoner was torturing himself more than his guards were; sort of like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer to distract you from the pain in your toe! I find that hard to swallow. Also, I would like to know how this fellow was able to yank out his curly locks while bound hand and foot. (Don`t bother me with details, Son!)

We know that Al Qaida has been training prisoners on their behavior if captured. We know they are good at keeping Omerta (the code of silence)and we know that they have been instructed to allege abuse and torture whenever possible. What I think happened is (if it happened at all) we had a prisoner who knew that non-military personnel would see him, and so he pulled his own hair out to make it look like he was being mistreated. I suspect that this guy purposely tortured himself in the hopes that some bleeding heart civilian would get it to a jackass, who would read it on the Senate floor! I suspect that this man was bound to stop him from injuring himself.

Impossible, you say! Who would do such a thing? Who would die flying a jetliner into a skyscraper-both full of innocent people? Who would strap explosives to his body and make a grease stain out of himself just to kill little children and old women in a pizza parlor? If Jihadists are willing to commit suicide for the cause, is it inconceivable that an imprisoned Jihadist might fake marks of torture? Why should we believe any of this?

What are the turban`s other allegations? The A/C made it too cool, the A/C was off and it was too hot! Oh, boo-hoo! They don`t even HAVE A/C in Afghanistan, you dolt! It gets cold in the mountains, and scalding hot in the flats. I guarantee that these people are used to great variations of temperature. I can`t imagine heat bothering an Iraqi, either. Our men are there in 120 degree heat, and they AREN`T used to that, but they get by (in full fatigues and often battle armor, I might add!) Meanwhile, the prisoners at Gitmo are eating gourmet foods specially prepared by a culturally sensitive Chef, are being given Korans, prayer rugs, and are having their calls to prayer broadcast over the camp loudspeakers. They are living better than many Americans living in government run housing facilities. I`m sorry if I find it hard to be sympathetic.

Sunday morning I watched Joe (un)Biden on DeFace the Nation trying to defend the Illinois Ayatollah. It was a revolting affair with Biden essentially saying that the Turban was misquoted, misunderstood, was being denied his freedom of speech, etc. The ultimate point Biden made was that Durbin was correct! When pressed for a solution to the Gitmo problem, Biden hemmed and hawed, saying this is a new kind of war and we don`t know how to fight it. Bullshit! Has Mr. Biden never heard of Quantrill? During the Civil War Quantrill massacred innocent people in pro-Unionist towns in Missouri and Kansas. (Frank and Jesse James rode with Quantrill.) There were others who fought in this dirty fashion. Generally, they were shown no mercy; after any information was extracted from them they were executed without trial. Why didn`t terrorism spread during the Civil War? Because it wasn`t tolerated. We have also met this style of asymmetric warfare in Vietnam, the French and Indian War, and the Japanese fought this way in a limited fashion in New Guinea, the Philippines, etc. The solution is to not tolerate it; go after any hiding places of these ruthless men, keep them running and scared. You can`t win a war like this with smiles and good intentions. This is war at it`s dirtiest-and our enemies are the ones who have set the rules.

Treason is giving aid and comfort to an enemy during time of war. Dick Durbin`s words are playing on every Jihadist television and radio station, as well as in all of their newspapers and on their websites. The enemy`s strategy is modeled on that of the Viet Cong; outwait American patience, take advantage of America`s decency, use left-wing and pacifist politicians to wither American will. They know that the Media is their best friend in this, and that victory will come when enough Americans believe the defeatism being force fed to them daily by the willingly duplicitous ``News`` outlets. Mr. Durbin has given their confidence in victory a major boost-he has aided them psychologically and in terms of propaganda, and has offered comfort by easing their fears that we stand firm.

If this is treason, much of the Democrat party as well as the mainstream media bear the same guilt! If the Duck theory (if it walks and quacks like a duck it is probably a duck) is valid, we must ask ourselves about all of those swimming birds.